A nightmare and exploring the meaning.

Before I start I wanna say I'm using the same site for all my "dream meanings" (which i'll put in italics and quotation marks) - http://www.dreammoods.com

I'll also warn anyone who's queasy to beware - we're gonna talk about blackheads, dilated pores, skin lesions, and it's gonna get kinda gross. If you love Dr Pimple Popper videos you might be alright but there are no satisfying pops here.

Consider that a trigger warning. Continue at your own risk.

There's also some talk about low moods and overwhelming emotions but please just laugh with me. I'm laughing!

So last night I had a pretty awful dream/nightmare. And one of my favourite things to do when I have a nightmare is to go to this website and try to figure out what the dream means. Usually they're pretty fucking spot on to how I'm feeling!

I know most people don't read these blogs but I wanted to write out the exploration this time.

First off- the dream.

There's not a whole lot of detail I can remember, now having been awake almost 3 hours, but here are the main details;

I was hanging out with my fiance at my mum's house when I looked in the mirror, a large gold framed mirror big enough for me to see my head, shoulders and chest, and was horrified to see my face had swollen up. So much so that my eyes were almost completely closed and my mouth was stretched wide. I also had huge, HUGE black heads/dilated pores on my neck, shoulders and chest. To give you an idea, imagine burst black pudding sausages sitting on my upper chest. In the dream I was trying to stop my fiance from looking at me while I was frantically trying to remove these huge growths from my skin.

I don't think I even managed to get rid of one and then it seemed to cut to being in my mum's kitchen, using the reflection of the oven door to get a smaller blackhead out my neck but when I was pushing on it, it just kept spilling out... I remember my dad coming in and asking what I was doing but I think I woke up after that..

Now to the "investigation".

Keywords and meanings (again, from http://www.dreammoods.com)

I couldn't find a meaning specifically for "blackheads" or "pores" so there's some interpretation to be done...

I've also cut out anything that I feel doesn't relate to my dream to stop myself getting confused. It happens. I'm a simple thing.

Skin:

"To dream of your skin represents protection or shield of your inner self. It serves as a physical boundary and how close you let others get to you. Alternatively, your skin indicates that you are being too superficial or shallow.

Dreaming that your skin is melting, deteriorating, or developing holes implies that you are losing your defenses. Your guard is down. Alternatively, the dream means that you are being worn down."

Recently I have definitely been feeling worn down, due to increased responsibility at work, volunteering for overtime on weekends, as well as keeping up with my streaming as much as I can, and working on creative projects for competitions as well as this month trying (again) and failing (again) to complete NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

"To dream that your skin is covered with rashes or other skin deformities signifies your fear of facing a harsh reality. You are afraid of making a wrong impression. The dream may also be a pun that you are making a rash decision."

Great. Dream puns.

I can't think of any harsh realities I'm currently facing or any rash decisions in my life presently. there has been some minor worry about making a wrong impression in one of the afore mentioned creative projects but it's not something I've given much attention to. I usually try to have the mind set of "well if you don't like me then good for you, I'll be over here being unlikable, you stay over there and do your own goddamn thing!"

"To dream that your skin is orange signifies self-love. You are content with who you are."

There is no self love happening lately. None. Only if you can count caking myself in makeup and taking selfies to beg for validation on social media.

Swelling:

"To dream that you are swelling up symbolizes a growing problem or issue. You need to address the situation before it gets out of hand. Consider the object or body part that is swollen for additional significance. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on something that is going "swell". Or it may be a metaphor of your over-inflated ego."

Money. Money is the growing issue. Or the lack thereof. And I was talking about this to a friend last night so it would have been on my mind still when I went to bed. I am trying to fix the issue, hence the overtime at work. But it's not going so well.

The rest is for another blog.

Face:

"To see your own face in your dream represents the persona you show to the world as oppose to the real you. It may refer to how you confront problems and deal with issues in your life."

How I confront problems; waiting until they're so big I have to deal with them immediately or hide until someone else fixes it for me.... so I feel like this is valid.

"To dream that your face is flawed or pimply symbolizes erupting emotions. You may be suffering an attack on your persona or your reputation."

I mean... my face wasn't pimply or flawed in the dream but the rest of me was, can we apply this? Erupting emotions fits. Most of this week I've felt like I just need to cry. Maybe that's my weekend plan.

"According to folklore, if you dream that your face is swollen, then it means that you will see an improvement to your financial situation. "

WELL HEY! Fingers crossed to folklore, huh? That turned around quickly, didn't it?

"To dream that your face warps into a bubble indicates that you are not expressing your feelings enough. You are keeping too much inside."

Keeping too much of my feelings inside?

Spot:

"To see a spot in your dream suggests that something is bothering you. It is affecting your mood and attitude. Alternatively, a spot represents imperfections. You need to learn to accept your own flaws, as well as the flaws of others. Nobody is perfect."

All jokes aside - I know what this dream is. I know what I'm feeling, I know where my issues are and I know I'm ignoring everything or opting for temporary fixes to put these problems off more. It's what I do! I guess it's good to know what affects my subconscious and in what ways.

I just find this kind of insight interesting, okay!?

Thanks for reading this far, I appreciate your face very much, we should talk more <3 xoxox